The Power Of Knowing You.

Who are you?

If the first answer that popped into your head was your name, then you misunderstood the question. 

I’ll ask again: who are you?

Ever really thought about that? Ever really taken the time to examine who you are as a person? If knowledge is power, then truly knowing yourself is a powerful tool when it comes to decision making. When asked about your personality, what would you say? What would your friends say? What are your weaknesses?

A good way to put who we are into perspective is to try and remember defining moments in our pasts. I’ve often been described as caring, thoughtful, considerate, peace loving, and honest/genuine. The earliest I can remember these traits manifesting was at about 6 years old. I was playing on the playground and I remember a kid that was deliberately being rude to me. He was saying mean things and throwing rocks at me and I picked up a rock and threw it back at him! The rock hit him square in the forehead. The kid fell down crying and I started tearing up and I ran home. I felt so bad that I confessed to my dad what had happened.  My father told me that it was right for me to stand up for myself but my reply was “But daddy! I hurt him!” Can you remember any life experiences that have helped define who you are?

Another glimpse at ourselves is to examine our friendships and social groups. What “roles” recur as a result of your personality? Are you the shy or quiet type? Do you like to be the center of attention? The voice of reason, or maybe a bit of a joker? Possibly a variety of these? What dynamics have you brought to your friendships?

Spending quality time with yourself can also be an effective way of getting to know you.  When a person takes time out for themselves, the things they do in that time frame are often indicative of their wants and needs. Maybe in your quality time you like to go shopping? Read a book? Go to the gym? Take a nap regardless of having plenty of sleep? Or you may need a mental/emotional outlet such as a blog? Someone like me, who is clearly a kid at heart, enjoys watching cartoons from time to time! :-)

Knowing yourself is pivotal when it comes to decision making—especially in the context of everyday life. For instance if you’re someone with a strong personality do you think it’d be wise to have a roommate with a short temper? If you tend to be influence-able would it be wise to be around people who are doing morally wrong or questionable things? Would you be okay with dating a Muslim if your beliefs were Christian, or would it eventually lead to too many disagreements? The overall quality of your life can improve by making decisions that are suited for who you are.

[On a side note, it’s important to remember that while some things about us may stay the same, other things may change or evolve as time passes. You might be that person who flies by the seat of their pants and then, as time passes, puts more emphasis on close friends and family than living in the moment.  Changes are always happening; just take care that the inner changes are not ones that have a negative impact on your life. Set the bar at being the best version of yourself!]

Thanks for taking time to read this! I challenge you to get in touch with yourself (if you’re not already) and stay in touch with yourself so you see the changes as they’re happening.

Here’s more food for thought! Check out this article, entitled “Your 24 Possible Personal Strengths”

That feeling. You know the one :-)

 Its existence can be traced back to the beginning of man. 

It can cause a rational person to become irrational, and is easily more addicting than any drug.

It's all that some people really want, and some of those people believe it's all we truly need. 

It's a feeling. 

Wait. Not just that.

A powerful force, and perhaps the most potent motivation there is.

From the movies to the air waves, radio waves, and even many of the books we read. 

What is it? 

                Love is a fairly broad topic, as there are several different types of love. There are, in fact, more than 20 definitions of love in the dictionary, and at least 6 different types of love as well as love languages. We won’t touch on all of those though. In this entry I’ll be sharing my general perspective of romantic love, common mistakes, and how to make it work.

                One thing that I think many of us can agree on is that at first it’s like an explosion of butterflies and happy feelings. A new romantic connection often times feels unreal, as if we can’t stop thinking about them and we long to spend every moment with them. Although cloud nine is wonderful, it's crucial to get our minds right, and here's why.

               The word 'trust' is often used in conjunction with the word 'foundation,' in the context of having a strong foundation to build upon. The beginning stages a lot like laying cement. A common mistake is viewing this person as flawless and incapable of error. It’s important to properly set the framework for the building—really get a grasp of who they are—before we lay that cement and let it dry.  That way when we discover how human they really are, it doesn’t throw off the building process. Genuine love takes a realistic look at that person, including their flaws, and accepts them as a whole. If you properly set a strong foundation the sky’s the limit!

Another tricky transition: when the romance establishes some consistency we sometimes find that even though they still make us smile and we’re still happy being with them, it becomes a bit less “manic” than it was when we were chomping at the bit to spend time with them and popcorn texting. I’ve heard some people become disillusioned under the assumption that in order for it to be love, it has to be a steady state of madness like it was in the beginning. I’m sure many of you have heard this before but I think it’s good to be reminded of this: the measure of romantic love is not the butterflies or brooding physical desire. This aspect is far too deep and I’d end up writing paragraphs after paragraph so I’ll just say that it’s important to do more than just be lovey-dovey and physical; it’s crucial to establish a friendship, in that cement phase, further affirming that your love them for them, not just for the chemical feelings they cause.

A common mistake, generally made just after the new love phase or long after a relationship has been established, is complacency.

So is there anything about that definition standing out?  If you read it closely, you'll notice complacency is the first stage taking things or people for granted. In general, I’m sure that all of us reading this have taken something for granted at some time or other. Electricity, running water, a bed to sleep in… here’s one: our parents. As kids, many of us became so used to having our parents around, unconditionally loving us and caring for us. Am I right? Can you remember times growing up where you were inconsiderate or treated your parents poorly and they loved you in spite of yourself? (Possibly during puberty/teenage years?) When we were younger we probably didn't think about it that way because in our parents would always be our parents.

 Bringing it back to context now, it’s dangerous to perceive that a significant other will always be there. Dangerous to assume that just because things seem good we can stop doing the little things that helped establish the love in the early going. Furthermore, (and this happens more often than we admit) it’s dangerous if it reaches a point where we’re having to ‘pencil in’ our significant other instead of prioritizing quality time with them. I’d like to challenge each and every one of you who has someone special: don’t get caught the traps of complacency. A strong relationship requires genuine, whole-hearted effort.  

….this entry ran longer than I intended it to, haha. Love can be a neverending topic!

That’s all for now! If you’ve read this far I thank you for your time J

You certainly are a character!

“Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power." -- Abraham Lincoln

One of my favorite quotes of all time. Many people think that when the "chips are down" is when our true colors emerge. Though adversity is a good measure of interpersonal relationships, real insight into a person's character comes when they're given "power."  In this entry I will present some scenarios with multiple choice answers. There is no "wrong" answer, as this is completely rhetorical.

1)You're at a party with your group of friends but your significant other was unable to come.  Your friends are playing drinking games and trying to pressure you into participating. You're tempted to give in but you remember that your guy/girl *hates* excessive drinking. Do you: 

a) Decline without hesitation. You're quite content without getting drunk.

b) Decline, but only on the basis that you don't want to make your guy/girl mad.

c) "What's the big deal? So long as they don't tell him..."

d)"Whatever! I do what I want!"

2)You're walking along in a major city when you see what appears to be a very wealthy man in front of you. While talking on a cell phone and digging around in his pocket you notice that he unknowingly drops a money clip containing a large wad of money. Would you:

a)Return the clip to him, reasoning that it's the most honest thing to do?

b)Return the clip to him, in hopes that you'll receive some sort of reward?

c)Keep it for yourself, reasoning that it's probably "chump change" to him anyway?

d)Keep it for yourself, justifying that he shouldn't have been so careless with that much money?

3)Your significant other is currently out of town and while you're sitting at home you receive a text message from your recent ex. (Your feelings toward this ex are completely non-romantic but personally you still find them very attractive.) The ex, knowing that your new guy/girl is out of pocket, asks if you'll spend time with them. Your response is:

a)Absolutely not. Under current circumstances, even an innocent hangout could damage my new relationship.

b)I don't see the problem with it, so long as we don't wind up alone somewhere.

c)Sure why not? What my guy/girl doesn't know won't hurt them...

4)Your ideal method for giving back to the community would be...

a)Spending time serving food at a food kitchen

b)Writing a check for charity

c)Volunteering for a crisis counseling hotline

d)Signing up for a big brother/big sister program

Note that all the scenarios give a certain amount of power, and what a person does with that power is indicative of possible character traits. How we choose to conduct our day-to-day lives via the choices we make are insight into our character. 


What kind of character are you? Do you know what you stand for from a moral perspective? Are things more of a black and white or is there a lot of grey? Though you may be a person who prides them self on being honest, how honest are you really? Would you trust yourself to the extent that you want others to trust you? 

I'd like to challenge you, the readers, to take hard look at yourself. We live so much of life on the go, but sometimes it's really important to stop and take a look at ourselves so that we can really know who we are. 

Food for thought :-)